This is just a repeat of a post i had before but removed, this needs to be here as i recover:
When I started this blog I had every intention of posting something new once a month, I realize it's been 3 months since my last post. The point for this blog was for me to have a creative outlet outside of my day to day work life; never did I imagine I would end up in a cube farm at my age, in my mind, by now I should have been in People magazine at least once, I was going to be a movie star or at least popular I would have done something "cool" that would have warranted me a page in this magazine I've been buying every week for the last 10 years or so if not more. But alas, it didn't work that way, I find myself in a call center like millions of other Americans across the country.
Which brings me to my beast, it's a very large one and not a pretty one, it’s not exactly a pet, it definitely is a beast and showed up absolutely uninvited and I wasn't ready for it. It kind of crept up on me, at first I thought it was just poking me a little to jolt me out of my boredom, and it may have been, but I didn't really listen I figured it would go away, kind of like an annoying little brother or sister that if you keep pushing back enough will eventually go away, so I assume anyway, my sister would know the answer to that better then me.
This beast does have a name and the name alone will give you the eeby jeebies, its name is Anxiety, yep! It took over my body, my mind and now my soul, I am at its mercy, but unlike when I was little and my brother would twist my arm and ask me to beg for mercy this is just not giving in, and god knows I have begged for mercy. I have fought it over and over but it seems to be winning and I have to now surrender to it and accept it is visiting for a while, now I just need to find a way to live with it, which is hard because it doesn't like anything I like. For example I love going outside and hanging out with friends, but the beast really doesn't and it sure lets me know of it. It also doesn't like going to baseball games, but it waited until I was all the way inside and in my seat to really let me know of that, to which I had to leave and walk all the way back to my car by myself against hundreds of fans.
I found out the hard way that it wasn't going to leave when I called in an exterminator and took some little white pills for it, it really didn't like that, it felt like I was trying to kick the devil out of me in some voodoo-like ritual! So I stopped that, but now not only do I have the beast residing in me I also have the remnants of the chemicals, not a very good combination.
So this is where I’ve been and I now need to make room for this thing, find out what it likes and befriend it and then maybe it will leave because I really don't think it wants to be my friend!
I will be back soon hopefully with a lighter funnier post!
Take care!
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