Christmas Letter

Phfew deep breathe everyone! What a year!
I am not one to make new years resolutions but I do like to reflect on the year past and see what I learned and how I can make the next year even better! Plus it is so easy to focus on the negatives so this makes me see the positive too!
This year started out pretty low, I broke someone's heart pretty badly, I lived in a state I didn't want to be in, I hated my job and I was far away from all my friends and family!

So this past year has been about change, not just for me but for some of my friends and most of my family. I am hoping this up coming year is about setting new roots and enjoying the fruits of all those changes and staying settled.

I left my job and the state and even country I lived in to come back home, most people said that when you get to a certain age you always want to come back to your roots!
Normally there is something bitter and sour tasting that comes along with those words, "certain age:, it sounds old it sounds like you're now starting to go downhill after going up hill for so long. It's like to think I’ll stay flat a bit and enjoy all the wisdom and knowledge and relationships I have built over the past year before I start going down hill.
This past year was about change but also about learning; maybe it wasn't just learning but actually paying attention to my needs and how to make things I want happen.
So knowing I wasn't happy and was making bad decision I came home so I could reset, figure out where I was headed and what I wanted and it was the best decision I made in a long time.
It is good to be home with family, as crazy as they all are I am blessed to be back.

The good thing is it seems like a lot of my family members were also going through similar transitions my sister for example has made some very brave decisions this year up to the last month of the year and I am so proud of her. I used to be worried about what it would be like to turn 40 and thinking life is over it's all down hill, but seeing how beautiful and smart and confident my sister is, I am proud to be following right behind her.
My brother found a new love, they are so beautiful together and I can only hope to have the same thing.
My younger brother welcomed a beautiful strong smart little girl, I am so excited for him, and I never thought the day would happen when he became a father, he is so proud and doing a great job, and I cannot wait to meet her.
My mother bought herself a cabin on the lake, she is living the perfect city dweller dream lol, an apartment in the city and a home away from the city for long lazy week ends. So for Christmas we all were able to gather at the cabin and be together as a family, I have always wanted to be one of those people who get to say "This week end I’m going to my parent's cabin" yeah snotty but hey she worked hard for it and deserves every square inch ;-)

Making this move meant leaving some of my best girlfriends behind, I do miss them a ton. I do, however, get to be closer to Meryeme and even though we don't spend as much time together knowing she is just one hour away from me brings me a lot of comfort!!

Moving also meant starting a new job, which was hard after being at the same place for 10 years, I miss having the camaraderie with my old co workers and friends, and knowing so much and being involved in so many projects, it's difficult to find myself at the bottom again but some days I marvel at just coming in and going home without all the responsibilities :-) but knowing me that comfort will only last so long, I need to feel useful and have already started thinking about getting my Black Belt in six sigma and I am very excited about the thought of working in process improvement.

With all these changes I also met a wonderful sweet man, I guess I had to step back and really figure out what I wanted out of life to get there. I finally get what it means to find your friend, your partner and lover. We can talk for hours about everything and nothing and he always makes me laugh but he also is a great listener, he doesn't try to fix everything but always has great advice. He gets and appreciates who I am faults, quirks and my odd sense of humor I am really looking forward to this year and seeing where our relationship takes us.

So the New Year is about enjoying and making the most of all the decisions and changes I have made in 2011, enjoying my city, my love, my family and my friends. Becoming strong again and growing in my new career and believing in myself more knowing how much I am capable of, oh and adjusting to winters, yes it's dark and cold but I must fight the desire to hibernate! One of the best thing my mother said to me this year, aside from being thankful I am back home was that no matter how hard things get for me or how much is going on in my life I always keep a big smile through it all and she admires that about me, so I will keep smiling more!!!!